Boghound's World News

A Humorous Look At News Events And Life Around The World

Archive for April, 2011

It’s A Toy??

Posted by Boghound on April 30, 2011


Police called to investigate noise find lone jiggling vibrator

Police called to a flat in Berlin by neighbours who said it sounded like someone was using an electric drill through the night smashed down the door to find a vibrator had switched itself on and was jiggling around on the floor.

Officers who answered the desperate call of the neighbour tried repeatedly to contact the 23-year-old woman whose flat it was, according to a report in the Berlin Kurier on Saturday.

But they could not get a response, and eventually decided to break in the door in an attempt to find out what was going on in the flat.

“You could hear the noise out on the street,” one neighbour was quoted as saying.

When the officers smashed their way into the flat they found nothing more dangerous than the vibrator which was doing its best on the floor.

Now the young woman is not only going to have to face her neighbours when she returns home – she will also have to pay for the smashed door, the paper said.

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It’s A Stinker!!

Posted by Boghound on April 29, 2011


Swiss flock to watch giant stinking flower

Thousands of plant lovers have flocked to the northern Swiss city of Basel to see a giant, stinky flower bloom for the first time.

The Basel Botanical Gardens expects 10,000 people to see its amorphophallus titanum, or corpse flower, in full glory before the bloom wilts late Saturday or Sunday. The plant is 17 years old and has never bloomed before.

Visitors haven’t been deterred by the strong stench of rotting flesh the flower emits to attract insects for pollination.

The 6.6-feet (2-meter) tall flower is native to the Indonesian island of Sumatra and the last one to bloom in Switzerland was 75 years ago.

Worldwide, there have been only 134 recorded blooms from artificial cultivation.

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Battling Granny

Posted by Boghound on April 28, 2011


Disabled Granny Headbutts Midget Muggers

NEWS from Barnbstable, Devon, that a “disabled grandmother” has saved herself from a mugging by headbutting one of the three villains. The Ealing Times does not name the woman. All we learn is that she is 49-year-old, five feet tall and registered disabled. She is a mother to six. She has 24 grandchildren. She was attacked by three hoodies as she piloted her mobility scooter along a road.

Says she:

“They were not expecting me to fight back. I am a very strong person because of what I have gone through in my life. As they attacked me, I heard my grandchildren saying to me in my head ‘Nan, get up and fight them’.

“When I headbutted the robber I think I broke his nose, it was that strong. Once they saw me attack him his mates scarpered and so did he.”

The small woman in the wheelchair headbutted the villain across his nose? Are police now looking for a gang of midgets? The story is taking on the status of urban myth. The woman has not been named. And we are soon told:

The fight did not go all her way, as she was tipped from her scooter and kicked, needing hospital treatment for face and stomach injuries which exacerbated a previous medical condition. Her scooter was damaged beyond repair and she spent all her savings on a new one.

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Drink Up??

Posted by Boghound on April 27, 2011


Viagra beer released in UK to mark royal wedding

Our favourite brewers are at it again. And this time the crazy guys at Brewdog have created a beer called ‘Royal Virility Performance’ to mark the forthcoming Royal Wedding.

But as you’d expect from the people who created the world’s strongest beer and served a brew in dead animals, this is no ordinary beer… it’s said to be laced with viagra.

In fact they claim the aphrodisiac-filled India Pale Ale means that drinking three of the 7.5 per cent ABV bottles is the equivalent of taking one Viagra pill.

And it doesn’t end there. Packaging on the bottles includes line like "Arise Prince Willy" and makers say they’ve sent some for the Prince to have a stiff drink on his wedding night.

James Watt, co-founder of BrewDog said: "We put a bottle in a jiffy bag marked ‘Prince Willy, Buckingham Palace’. As the bottle says, this is about consummation, not commemoration, so we hope he gets it.”

The craft ale will cost £10 per bottle, with all proceeds going to the charity Centrepoint, which Prince William supports and just 40 bottles of the beer will be sold via BrewDog.com.

For anyone wondering about the legality of selling a viagra-laced beer it’s worth noting the label states it contains: "Viagra, chocolate, Horny Goat Weed and a healthy dose of sarcasm".

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Coin It In?

Posted by Boghound on April 26, 2011


Very heavy bag exposed coin fraud ring

An airline stewardess struggling to lift her bag at a German airport led to the discovery of a 6-million euro ($8.4 million) coin fraud.

The customs officer who stopped the stewardess in early 2010 found thousands of one and two euro coins in her bag, Bild newspaper reported in its Thursday edition.

The incident sparked an investigation that has uncovered a forgery ring stretching to China and potentially implicating employees of German airline Lufthansa, the paper said.

The Frankfurt prosecutors’ office said on Thursday it carried out dawn raids on offices and residences and arrested six people, four of whom are from China.

It suspects them of having smuggled coins that had been taken out of circulation or bits of those coins into Germany from China, where they had been sent as scrap metal.

The suspects then put the coins back together and exchanged them for a total of 6 million euros at the Bundesbank from 2007 to 2010, the prosecutors said.

Airline cabin crew do not have a weight limit on their baggage, prosecutors highlighted in a statement.

There was no suspicion of any wrongdoing on the part of Bundesbank employees, the prosecutors’ office added.

The Bundesbank said in a statement it was aware of the investigation into the use of scrapped coins. It also said that no Bundesbank employees were subject to the investigation.

A Lufthansa spokesman on Thursday said it was aware that individual employees were under investigation, but said the group could not comment on the investigation.

Old euro coins are taken out of circulation by removing the inner part of the coin from an outer ring and thus effectively turning them into scrap metal.

The investigators recovered around 3 tonnes of coin pieces as well as a machine for putting them back together, prosecutors said in the statement.

The Bundesbank is the only institute in Europe that exchanges damaged euro coins for free, replacing them with new ones of the same value.

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Rubber Love

Posted by Boghound on April 25, 2011


Penguin falls in love with keeper’s rubber boots

Dennis Kübler, who looks after the penguins at Sea Life Konstanz, found himself not only pursued by Bonaparte for his boots, but also many of the other penguins who decided they also wanted a piece of rubber sole.

The mass enchantment of the Gentoo penguins for Kübler’s black and white boots finally forced him to switch footwear – to give the birds a chance of mating with each other.

“For three days I’ve been going with blue rubber boots in the enclosure,” Kübler says.

Bonaparte, first fell in love with Kübler’s boots when mating season began about four weeks ago, rubbing up against them and apparently mistaking them for a lady penguin lying on her stomach.

Other penguins soon caught onto the idea, competing with Bonaparte for the boots’ affections, forcing Kübler to get a pair of blue boots, which do not seem to be so penguin-friendly.

He says that Bonaparte now interacts much more with real females – although the bird was initially baffled and bemused.

This is not the first time German penguins have fallen hard for something – or someone – not of their own kind.

Sandy the penguin at Münster’s zoo had a long-term on-again, off-again crush on her human keeper Peter Vollbracht. Earlier this year, however, she settled down with a penguin named Hermann.

The love lives of penguins at Konstanz became the focus of tabloid attention last year when two male penguins paired up and have unsuccessfully been trying to mate.

Kübler says he’ll likely put his favourite boots back on once Bonaparte finds a real partner.

“Penguins are monogamous,” Kübler he said.

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Ooooo…Stop!

Posted by Boghound on April 24, 2011


Traffic light sex couple leaves town baffled

The lights – in Nimwegen, Holland – literally stopped the traffic when passers by stopped to gawp at them during rush hour.

One officer said: ‘People kept pressing the button to see the couple having sex and of course every time they did, the traffic had to stop suddenly. We had quite a lot of rear end shunts from drivers who were too distracted.’

Transport officials are investigating how computer hackers managed to get into the town’s traffic light system to manipulate the image.

A Town Hall spokesman said: ‘We are looking at who had access and opportunity.

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Oh..No…It’s Charlie Sheen!

Posted by Boghound on April 23, 2011


Charlie Sheen sex doll sells out in a day

A Charlie Sheen sex doll called ‘Crackhead Charlie’ sold out in just one day, it has been reported.
According to the Evening Standard, Pipedream Products’ blow up version of the former Two and a Half Men actor was an instant hit with customers.

The company’s CEO Nick Orlandino said: "The Crackhead Charlie doll sold out in one day, the same day we released it. We could of sold more dolls if we had more in stock but they are sold out right now (sic)."

The $30 doll, which is not endorsed by Sheen himself, features a cartoon picture of the actor on the packaging, surrounded by scantily clad women.

The description reads: "You don’t have to be a slutty porn goddess to party with this radical rockstar from Mars!

"Just add air and this neurotic nutjob will show you his two and a half personalities, warlock, fangs, fire-breathing fists and Adonis DNA.

"Don’t be a foolish little troll, experience the bitchin’ drug they call Charlie and let him rock your world!"

Sheen is currently touring his one-man stage show across the US.

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We’re Cool, Dude

Posted by Boghound on April 22, 2011


Monkeys steal sunglasses

Monkeys in a British zoo have accumulated a collection of sunglasses stolen from visitors.

Staff at London Zoo are now having to give the Bolivian squirrel monkeys a crash course to teach them not to pinch the accessories from their customers.

It is thought the primates are attracted to the shades because of their shiny lenses and now zookeepers have coated their hoard in a bitter tasting apple substance their pilfering ways should come to an end.

Zookeeper Kate Sanders said: "Once they get hold of a pair they all race round the enclosure chasing each other with the glasses. They’ve grabbed around seven pairs so far.

"Hopefully this treatment with the bitter apple will work, we are planning to repeat it until they associate sunglasses with something that is unpleasant.

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Man Bites Dog?

Posted by Boghound on April 21, 2011


Man bites dog _ then sues over police

A 33-year-old man who bit back after he was caught by a Phoenix police dog is suing police.

Erin Sullivan alleges the dog violated his civil rights and used excessive force to capture him after he ran from officers in Glendale during a burglary investigation last year.

Police say Sullivan bit the dog back, injuring it.

The lawsuit names the cities of Phoenix and Glendale and four officers.

Precursor filings to the lawsuit sought $200,000 from Glendale and $250,000 from Phoenix.

Officials in Glendale and Phoenix have declined comment.

Sullivan also alleges Glendale police refused to give him insulin to treat his diabetes. Sullivan’s attorney, Keith Knowlton, has said his client suffered a diabetic seizure in a Glendale cell.

Sullivan is serving eight years for convictions in the Glendale burglary.

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