Boghound's World News

A Humorous Look At News Events And Life Around The World

Archive for May, 2010

Let Me In!!

Posted by Boghound on May 20, 2010


Snoopy prisoner

A British man tried to break into prison – dressed as Snoopy.

The unnamed man – who wore fancy dress as the fictional dog in the long-running comic strip ‘Peanuts’ – stunned jail workers when he tried to break into prison with an un-costumed sidekick.
When Snoopy and his friend failed to break down a door, they pelted prison officers’ cars with concrete missiles.

A source at Isle of Wight’s Albany prison said: “They weren’t exactly inconspicuous – but it was taken seriously because they appeared to have a gun. They caused a real commotion and it was only later they were found to be armed with a water pistol.”

The duo – who were arrested and detained under the Mental Health Act – later realised they had targeted the wrong jail anyway.

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Something Fishy!!

Posted by Boghound on May 19, 2010


Giant Herring

A Swedish man has discovered a giant herring.

The fish, which measures 3.5 metres – the first found in the Scandinavian country in more than 130 years -, was found dead in the small fishing village of Bovallstrand by passer-by Kurt Ove Eriksson.

He said: “There was something big floating… at first we thought it was a big piece of plastic. But then we saw an eye. I went down to check and saw that it was this extremely strange fish.”

The Regalecus glesne, which is known as the King of Herrings or Giant Oarfish, has since been frozen.

It had a deep cut through its body and was missing its back fin, but will now be added to an exhibit on sea monsters.

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A “Right” Production!!

Posted by Boghound on May 18, 2010


Doggie theatre

An Australian theatre is staging a concert for dogs.

The world famous Sydney Opera House plans to hold an experimental twenty minute outdoor show which will feature music in such a high pitch that only dogs will be able to hear it.

The one off concert, which will take place on the building’s northern foyer, is being held as part of the upcoming Vivid Live music festival.

Local dog owner Renee Russell said she couldn’t wait to bring along her spaniel Ollie.

She said: “I’m definitely going, I want to see how he’ll react. It’s getting harder to find places you can take dogs so it’s nice they are putting on an event for them.”

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All Tied Up!

Posted by Boghound on May 17, 2010


Dominatrix ‘Mistress Tia’ banned from village hall

Professional sadomasochist Sophie Allen, 27 – stage name Mistress Tia – hired the hall in Waters Upton in Telford, Shropshire, for sessions.

She offers caning, verbal abuse, flogging, waxing, whipping and boot worship to her slaves.

Blogging on her website, she said: ‘Been getting ready for my production shoot tomorrow, can’t wait, got loads of new slaves coming, putting some really great ideas into practice.

‘Hired out the village hall again in Telford which is a really big place with nice wooden floors which really accentuate the sound of my heels.’

She charges £80 for 30 minutes or £150 for an hour, with photos available as mementos for an extra £20.

Darren Morgan, who runs the local butchers, said: ‘I am shocked to hear of such lurid activities.’

Another villager added: ‘As long as they keep away from us, they can do what they like.’

Katrina Baker, chairman of the hall management committee, confirmed the sessions had been banned.

She said it had been booked by a man ‘for auditions’ so the true nature of what was going on did not become clear until managers realised he was Mistress Tia’s business partner.

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Driven Crazy!!

Posted by Boghound on May 16, 2010


Woman who passed driving test on 960th try to buy car

The Yonhap news agency reported on Thursday that 69-year-old Cha Sa-soon passed the driving part of the test last month on her 10th try. South Korea requires a written test first, and Cha took it nearly every day since April 2005 before passing last year.

Yonhap quoted her as saying she wanted to buy a small second-hand car to visit her son and daughter, and for her business selling vegetables.

Officials at the drivers’ license agency in Jeonju, 130 miles (210 kilometers) south of Seoul, were not available for comment.

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Smelt It – Dealt It!!

Posted by Boghound on May 15, 2010


Fart absorbent blanket becomes an online hit

An advert for a fart smothering blanket which claims to quickly absorb the odour of flatulence has become a YouTube hit.

The ‘Better Marriage Blanket’ is said to contain the same type of carbon fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.

Since the ad – which claims to offer a “real solution to a very real problem” – was uploaded to YouTube, it’s already been watched more than 1m times.

Denver science teacher Francis Bibbo says he created the material 15 years ago but it is only now coming to market as a product for gassy couples.

Makers say the £30 blanket makes an ideal wedding or anniversary gift for your loved one… or you could just cut down on the baked-beans.

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Penis Envy

Posted by Boghound on May 14, 2010


Penis mockery allegedly led to airport

beating

A Miami International Airport employee has been arrested for allegedly beating a co-worker with an expandable police baton for mocking the size of his penis, the Miami Herald reports.

A few months ago, co-workers watched as Rolando Negrin tested the airport’s full-body imaging machine.

According to the newspaper, Negrin endured months of ridicule before he allegedly snapped Tuesday night and attacked a male co-worker in the airport parking lot.

He allegedly forced the co-worker to get on his knees and apologize before issuing the beating.

Negrin has been charged with aggravated battery.

The Transportation Security Administration said Negrin has been suspended and an internal inquiry has been launched.

The full-body scanning machines, which have been used in the U.S. since 2008, have sparked outcry from privacy watchdogs like the American Civil Liberties Union.

Some Canadian airports introduced the scanners in January.

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In The Deep End

Posted by Boghound on May 13, 2010


German pensioner fined €14,000 for cannonball dives at public pool

A 74-year-old retired teacher, identified only as Axel G., was accused of terrorising a local pool, where cannonballs, or Arschbomben, (literally “ass bombs”) are forbidden.

He appeared before the Alzey district court this week to appeal the fine. According to The Local, the pensioner had been accused of terrorising fellow swimmers for years with his explosive dives, spitting in the water and even dunking a young girl underwater.

Axel G. initially denied all of the charges, but CCTV footage of the pool revealed evidence of the disruptive diving.

He has since withdrawn his appeal, and has agreed to pay the fine.

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A New Drive-In

Posted by Boghound on May 12, 2010


Man in burning truck drives to fire

station

Truck on fire? Forget calling 911. Craig Brown of Carlton just drove a few more blocks to the McMinnville Fire Station when smoke started to billow from under the hood of his pickup. McMinnville Fire Marshal Eric McMullen said a firefighter who’d been outside Friday morning washing an ambulance rushed inside to get help.

Firefighters opened the hood and found flames licking around the engine. They quickly grabbed a hose and put out the fire.

McMullen said the crew was happy to be able to help without leaving the station. And he adds, “We were joking today about our new drive-up service.”

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Dying To Score!

Posted by Boghound on May 11, 2010


Referee Books Dying Footballer For Diving

A football referee gave a yellow card to a player for diving – only to find moments later he had actually collapsed and died.

Goran Tunjic was playing for Croatian side Mladost when he fell to the ground in the 35th minute of the match against rivals Hrvatski Sokola.

The referee had warned the teams before the match that he would not tolerate any diving or over-the-top behaviour.

After seeing 32-year-old Mr Tunjic lying on the ground, he marched across the pitch to wave a yellow card at him.

But it was not until other players gathered around him that they realised he was not faking it.

The referee immediately saw that he had made a mistake and called for medics.

Mr Tunjic was taken to hospital where he was declared dead on arrival.

Doctors said he had died on the pitch from a massive heart attack.

“Doctors tried to help him, but there was nothing they could do,” a team spokesman said of the player, who had no previous medical problems.

“He just fell dead on the spot.”

The game was abandoned with the score remaining 0-0.

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