Boghound's World News

A Humorous Look At News Events And Life Around The World

Archive for April, 2010

Croak It!

Posted by Boghound on April 30, 2010


‘Colourful’ Kiwi leaves quirky funeral instructions

Inside an envelope reading “Eeek! I’ve Carked It” a New Zealander described as “extremely colourful” has left final instructions for his family.

“I finally carked it after a lifetime of fun,” Andy Nathan wrote.

“Time to celebrate! Men: Hawaiian shirt … Ladies: painted toe nails please … Don’t be late!”

The 43-year-old, who appeared on Sale Of The Century in Australia and penned the book A History Of Now, died last week following diabetes-related complications.

Mr Nathan’s sister, Vicki Hudson, says her brother’s health had been on the decline for about six years.

“He knew that he wasn’t going to have a long life and he wanted to make it easy for everybody,” Ms Hudson told the New Zealand Herald.

Following his death, Mr Nathan’s family found an envelope marked with a sad face baring crosses for eyes.

Mr Nathan included his own death notice, instructions for his funeral, how to inform his friends of his demise on Facebook and who should carry his coffin.

“He wants everybody to wear Hawaiian shirts,” Ms Hudson said, adding that he only cut his blonde hair once a year – on his mother’s birthday.

“He’s always been extremely colourful.”

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It’s All Barbie’s Fault

Posted by Boghound on April 29, 2010


 

Man loses licence after drink-driving in toy Barbie car

Paul Hutton, 40, was pulled over by police as he drove an electric Barbie car, which moves slower than a mobility scooter, near his home in Essex.

Mr Hutton, who has four children Simon, 17, Calum, 14, Laina, 12, and John, 11, admitted being a ‘complete twit’.

Speaking after the hearing at Colchester magistrates court, he said: “You have to be a contortionist to get in, and then you can’t get out.

“I was very surprised to get done for drink-driving but I was a twit to say the least.

“It is designed for three-to-five-year-olds.

“Originally it was a pink Barbie car but I put bigger wheels on it but it’s not fast.

“I’m not unhappy with my punishment, just a little bit surprised.”

Mr Hutton, who is divorced, is a former RAF aeronautical engineer who now studies electrical engineering at Colchester Institute.

He explained: “I’m in the third year of my electrical engineering course and it was a little project I was doing with my son who is doing a car mechanics course.

“When it was done I couldn’t resist the temptation to take it out.”

Mr Hutton, was found to be twice the drink-drive limit, he said.

Appearing before magistrates last week, he admitted driving the toy car while drunk.

He was given a mandatory three-year ban because he had received another drink-drive ban within the past ten years.

Magistrates also gave him a 12-month conditional discharge and ordered him to pay £85 court costs.

Chairman of the bench Neil Munson said: “This is most unusual.

“I have never seen the like of it in 15 years on the bench.

“The vehicle is not even capable of doing the speed of a mobility scooter and could be outrun by a pedestrian.

“Taking this into account, we feel we can impose a sentence of a conditional discharge for a period of 12 months.”

The car was confiscated by police until the hearing but Mr Hutton now hopes to get it back.

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Bart’s Support

Posted by Boghound on April 28, 2010


The Simpsons supports South Park writers in Mohammed censorship row

The opening titles of The Simpsons were altered to acknowledge the controversial decision by channel Comedy Central to change the 201st episode of South Park after the previous edition depicted the prophet disguised in a bear costume.

South Park’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, were sent a warning by a New York-based radical Islamic website for the 200th episode. The programme also lampooned Jesus and Buddhism

“South Park – we’d stand beside you if we weren’t so scared,” Bart Simpson wrote on the blackboard in the opening sequences.

The Mohammed character was introduced as part of a joke about censorship based on the 2006 death threats made against Danish cartoonists by Islamist extremists, who see any depiction of Muhammad as a gross insult to their religion.

In the 201st episode, all mentions of the prophet were “bleeped” out and his image was blocked out with the word “censored.”

Mr Parker and Mr Stone released a statement: “In the 14 years we’ve been doing South Park we have never done a show that we couldn’t stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode.

“It wasn’t some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps. In fact, Kyle’s customary final speech was about intimidation and fear. It didn’t mention Muhammad at all but it got bleeped too. We’ll be back next week with a whole new show about something completely different and we’ll see what happens to it.”

Abu Talhah al Amrikee wrote on revolutionmuslim.com that the decision to caricature the prophet was “stupid”.

He wrote that they would “probably wind up like Theo van Gogh”, the Dutch film-maker who was murdered in 2004 after making a documentary on violence against Muslim women.

“It’s not a threat, but it really is a likely outcome,” wrote Mr Amrikee. “They’re going to be basically on a list in the back of the minds of a large number of Muslims. It’s just the reality.”

In July 2001 South Park featured an episode where all the founders of the major world religions including Mohammed appeared as a group of crime fighters called the Super Best Friends.

In its history the cartoon has depicted the Queen being shot dead and Saddam Hussein as Satan’s lover. It has targeted religions and politicians and has repeatedly depicted Tom Cruise in a closet.

……………..so the freedom to caricature is dead or dying….Another nail in the freedom of speech

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On Yer Bike

Posted by Boghound on April 27, 2010


Danish hotel to get ‘green’ energy from pedaling guests

A luxury hotel in Copenhagen is taking green energy to a new level on Monday when guests will be able to help provide electricity by pedaling bikes hooked up to generators.

Every guest at the 366-room Crowne Plaza hotel that generates 100 watt hours will in return get a meal worth 200 kroner (27 euros, $36), hotel spokesman Frederikke Toemmergaard said.

Two bicycles will be set up with little screens mounted on the handle bars so riders can see how much electricity they have generated for the hotel, which bills itself as “one of the world’s greenest”.

Thanks to the set-up, guests will be able “to reduce their carbon footprint and save money and energy,” Toemmergaard said.

“A person in bad shape has to pedal about 10 minutes to generate 10 watt hours and someone in good shape can generate up to 100 watt hours in 60 minutes,” she said.

The 26-floor hotel claims to be the first hotel in Denmark to have all of its energy provided with renewable sources thanks to solar panels and a groundwater-based cooling and heating system.

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Pheasant Plucker!

Posted by Boghound on April 26, 2010


Devon couple stalked by angry pheasant

A retired bird expert is reportedly being stalked by a ferocious pheasant who has made his life a misery.

The wild bird apparently sits and waits for either John Tucker or his wife Carol to leave their Devon home so that it can attack.

Mr Tucker, 72, has taken to climbing out of a back window to avoid the bird and its vicious airborne assaults. The pheasant chases the retired ornithologist around his garden and has so far caused injuries to his head, arms and legs.

“It has got to the point where I have to climb out of the back window as he’s waiting at the front door. It was quite funny to start with, but now it’s extremely irritating,” he told the Daily Mail. “He hits my wife in the midriff and I have to wear long johns when I go out because he tears me to bits.”

Mr Tucker believes that the pheasant’s behaviour is due to territorial instincts and hormones. “I think he’s either pumping with testosterone during the mating season and taking his frustrations out on me, or he’s just a mad old bird.”

Despite being under siege in their own home, Mr Tucker said that he could never ‘make him into a pie’. “I did nearly lose my cool with him the other day as he was being particularly aggressive,” he said. “I picked him up and thought ‘I could just wring your neck’. But as he looked at me with his brown eyes I knew I couldn’t ever do it.”

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The Flip Side

Posted by Boghound on April 25, 2010


Learner driver flips

A British learner driver flipped her instructor’s car on the second lesson.

The 20-year-old female driver – who had spent less than two hours in her Fiat 500 vehicle – accidentally locked the steering wheel to the right and stamped on the accelerator pedal as she left a junction, causing her to flip over into a garden gate.

The car landed on its roof but neither the instructor or learner were hurt.

Homeowner Dermot Dobson joked that it would be a ”long while” before the pupil was ready for her test.

He said: “It’s an unusual way to announce your arrival in front of someone’s house on a Sunday morning but most astonishing is how such a small car can accelerate so quickly.”

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To Top It All!

Posted by Boghound on April 24, 2010


Locust swarm inspires new pizza topping

Entrepreneurs are taking advantage of locust swarms sweeping northern Victoria, with one Mildura cafe offering a locust pizza to patrons.

Authorities say the swarms are among the biggest seen in northern Victoria in 30 years.

In the Mallee, the insects are plastered across the front of vehicles forced to drive through locust clouds.

The idea for the pizza was the brainchild of Mayor Glenn Milne, who rounded up the insects and trapped them in a garbage bag.

“You can’t stop finding them when they get killed on your car, but it’s another story when you get out on the oval and try to catch them,” he said.

Mildura car wash operator Jeff Becker says his business has quadrupled as motorists try to keep their windscreens clean.

“The bugs don’t care, they’ll just get on your car,” he said. “Doesn’t matter who you are, what you drive.”

The swarms are not such good news for farmers because the locusts are feasting on early-sown crops.

The pests are also causing problems for footballers, lawn bowlers and golfers who are having to play on through clouds of locusts attacking any grassed playing surface.

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Snake Alive

Posted by Boghound on April 23, 2010


‘Snake attack’ man arrested after ‘motel python slap’

According to police, the victim says that he got into an argument on Tuesday night with another motel guest, over loud music coming from the man’s room.

The dispute appeared to be over, but the victim told police that the man – identified as 29-year-old Tony Smith – then walked up to him several hours later with a four-foot python and hit him in the face with the snake’s head.

Smith handed over the the snake to members of his family before police handcuffed him and took him to jail.

He was charged with assault and battery and remains jailed on a nearly $1,100 bond.

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Potted!

Posted by Boghound on April 22, 2010


Pot enthusiasts gather at California cannabis expo

Medical marijuana users near San Francisco lit up Saturday at the opening of the two-day International Cannabis and Hemp Expo, where vendors displayed bongs, vaporizers, hash brownies and other marijuana-related products.

Organizers of the event at the Cow Palace said they insisted on having an onsite medicating area before holding the expo. Under a white-canopied courtyard, young adults in baggy jeans and baseball caps smoked alongside aging hippies.

Adrian Hernandez said marijuana use helps him deal with chronic knee pain.

“Everybody needs their medication when they need it,” said Hernandez, who is in his 30s. “We’d have to step out and go hide in our cars.”

In 1996, California voters approved a measure that allowed sick people to use marijuana if they have doctor referrals and an identification card.

But marijuana advocates want to take it a step further. In November, voters will consider a ballot measure on whether to legalize and tax pot in California.

Bob Katzman, chief operations officer for the expo, said one of the goals of the event — held in an arena that once hosted The Beatles and the 1964 Republican Convention — was to show just how big and far-reaching the state’s pot industry has become.

“I think we’re already mainstream,” he said. “At least in Northern California.”

Katzman said he obtained permission for the medicating area last year from the Cow Palace, which is controlled by the state, after years of negotiations. He credited the recent push to legalize marijuana in part for the approval.

The expo, and others like it, will help develop the multibillion dollar pot industry, said Bucky Fisher, national sales manager for Medical Marijuana Inc., which sells hemp-related products and provides services to ensure marijuana dispensaries follow the law.

“It makes the industry more of a community, more visible, more powerful,” he said. “This country is definitely in need of a homegrown industry, and this could be it.”

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Bookish

Posted by Boghound on April 21, 2010


George Washington owes $300,000 in library fines

New York City’s oldest library says one of its ledgers shows that the first U.S. president has racked up 220 years’ worth of late fees on two books he borrowed, but never returned.

Adjusted for inflation, that means Washington owes approximately $300,000 (£197,000).

One of the books was the ‘Law of Nations,’ which deals with international relations. The other was a volume of debates from the UK’s own House of Commons.

Both books were due on November 2, 1789.

New York Society Library head librarian Mark Bartlett says the institution isn’t seeking payment of the fines. ‘But we would be very happy if we were able to get the books back,’ Bartlett added.

The ledger also lists books being taken out by founding fathers Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr and John Jay – but they managed to return them.

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