Boghound's World News

A Humorous Look At News Events And Life Around The World

Archive for December, 2009


Posted by Boghound on December 29, 2009

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Thank God It’s Over!!

Posted by Boghound on December 27, 2009

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Posted by Boghound on December 23, 2009


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Santa’s Bad Day!

Posted by Boghound on December 23, 2009


A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

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He’s behind you.

Posted by Boghound on December 22, 2009

Parents want busty fox sacked from puppet show

Angry parents want a big-breasted fox puppet removed from a children’s theatre performance – because she is too sexy.

The fox features in the puppet show entitled Hedgehog House, at Zagreb Theatre in Croatia, in which a fox falls in love with a hedgehog – and finds herself dreaming of his sharp spines.

But theatre bosses are under pressure to drop the busty fox for being “inappropriate for small children”.

Parents say the fox is too voluptuous – and believe the spine dreams carry sexual connotations.

Director Bozidar Violic said: “What is so unusual about a hedgehog that might give you a prick?

“That is why it has sharp spines. It is not my fault if some parents see something that does not exist in the show.”

In the meantime the theatre has decided to change the story and have the fox no longer dreaming about the hedgehog’s prickles.

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A White Trash Xmas Video

Posted by Boghound on December 21, 2009

This is very, very funny!!!!

Click here to play video

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Posted by Boghound on December 21, 2009

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Monkey Business

Posted by Boghound on December 21, 2009

Kung fu monkeys turn tables on trainer

A Chinese man who trained monkeys martial arts to entertain shoppers was shocked when they turned the tables on him.

Lo Wung’s taekwondo monkeys have become a regular feature outside a shopping centre in Enshi, Hubei province, where they were trained to show off their martial arts skills on each other.

But one quick-thinking monkey saw his chance when Lo slipped – and caught him with a perfect flying kung fu kick to the head. The rest then joined in the affray.

Hu Luang, 32, who caught the incident on camera, said: “I saw one punch him in the eye – he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose.

“They were leaping and jumping all over the place – it was better than a Bruce Lee film.”

At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a staff to hit the monkeys, only to find himself facing a stick-brandishing monkey that cracked him over the head.

Lo only managed to get the monkeys under control by tangling them up in the rope that had been used to stop them running off.

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Horsing Around

Posted by Boghound on December 20, 2009

In France, horse falling off restaurant menus

Many people love horses and traditionally, many French people have loved them even more with a side of salad.

That passion, however, has slowed to a trickle in the last couple of years as crisis-hit French consumers buy less meat and years of campaigning by animal rights groups take effect.

Looking to ram home their advantage, campaigners have launched a pre-Christmas blitz in Paris featuring posters of riding school ponies and graceful yearlings aimed at rending the hardest of hearts.

“Every year in France, riding school horses like Caramel are sent to the abattoir,” says one poster by the Fondation Brigitte Bardot, featuring a photo of a perky grey pony reflected in a knife blade.

“It disturbs us that people continue to eat horses at all and we are going to go on campaigning until people stop eating it altogether,” said Constance Cluset, a spokeswoman for the animal welfare group created by the former actress.

Last year, 15,820 horses were killed for their meat in France, of which over 7,000 were imported from abroad.

The group, whose campaign was timed to coincide with a horse fair, is pushing for a legislative bill to modify horses’ legal status to companion from production-type animals such as sheep.

While horse meat is traditionally cheaper than other animals, the financial crisis has only pushed consumers to buy more chicken, according to French agriculture ministry figures.

Consumption of horse meat has fallen 12 percent in the last two years and currently makes up less than 1 percent of all meat consumed in France, the ministry said in a report.

And while only a few years ago horse meat was relatively easy to find, now it takes more time to track it down.

“Horse is indeed a French dish, but you’d be very hard-pressed to find it in any restaurants now,” said the chef at restaurant Le Central in Paris, adding: “There’s so much publicity against it.”

Accounts vary on how France first took to eating equines.

Some historians say the country’s appetite for horse meat dates from the Battle of Eylau in 1807, when the chief surgeon of Napoleon’s army advised famished soldiers to feast on fallen horses on the battlefield.

The story adds that the cavalry cooked the trusted steeds using their breastplates as cooking pans.


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Dead Drunk

Posted by Boghound on December 19, 2009

Dead drunk policeman stripped of martyrdom

The Chinese police captain who named his subordinate a “martyr” after he died from a drinking binge has been suspended, the Shenzhen Public Security Authority said on Tuesday.

Traffic officer Chen Lusheng of the southern city of Shenzhen was off-duty when he attended a banquet with officials from Mabu village in late October. After repeated toasts, he vomited and passed out on a couch, where he suffocated, state media said.

His captain, Xie Feiyong, attempted to declare Chen a martyr, in order to get higher compensation for his family and possibly to avert any investigation into his death. He was suspended from duty on Tuesday, the Xinhua news agency said, citing the police.

The Shenzhen government information office did not immediately answer a query on the matter.

Shenzhen police told local media the policeman was a victim of China’s infamous Chinese business banquet ganbei or “bottoms up” culture, where diners attempt to out-drink each other to gain concessions. They did not explain why Chen was attending the banquet in the first place.

Forced drinking is so widespread that workplace injuries regulations in the southwestern city of Chongqing were recently amended to classify deaths caused by drinking as “workplace accidents” bosses send staff out drinking for business.

Xie argued that Chen died in a work-related incident and that there was nothing wrong in wanting to leave behind a glorious legacy for his colleague.

The application for the posthumous honor was denied by the District Brigade, on grounds that Chen died neither in the line of duty nor during work hours.

Chen’s family, who are demanding 4.8 million yuan ($703,200) in compensation, had camped out in the police station and set up a mourning hall there.

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